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Five Sentence Fiction........Memories.

This week's word  : RAIN.


           The rain always did this to her....it brought back memories buried deep down all through the year. And how many years had it been? Almost five years since that fateful day... the day it had rained like the  world would come to an end.  Her haste to reach the church where Ryan would be waiting for her...the rush to cross the water-logged street...thoughts of Ryan that crowded her mind every minute...plans for their happy future.... her  train of thoughts had picked up speed and she had failed to apply the brakes in time.
         Time, indeed, passes by real slow when all you do is lie on a hospital bed looking out of  a tiny window, chasing rainbows.
    

Comments

  1. Powerful lines, especially the last one is heart breaking. Great fiction.

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  2. Oh that's sad. She is in hospital for 5 years? I hope Ryan is ok though.

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    Replies
    1. Ryan is absolutely okay......happily married and in a different world altogether.

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  3. Oh.. i too thought of asking about Ryan.. i guessed it :( Poor girl! Hope some day dawns with the hope of a smile on her.. beautifully written, shilpa.. :)

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  4. Oh dear... well, he want worth it then ,i f he could move on so easily!

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  5. What is worse is when you can only see the rain from within and not experience it anymore. Sigh... how sad. Liked the writing, Shilpa.

    Shailaja/The Moving Quill

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  6. So sad...but a story well told, Shilpa!

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  7. Shilpaji, you can't just put ellipses between two sentences and hope to magically combine them into one. :D

    If you are not referring to a particular object that has been referred to earlier, you should use an indefinite article. (last sentence)

    You have portrayed the feeling of longing and hurt so well in this post. I loved the part where the train of thoughts in her head coincides with the fast approaching vehicle. (In my mind, her car came in the way of an actual train)

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  8. :). I understand about the ellipses- I tend to use those rather liberally. Got to make a conscious effort to use them where necessary.
    Thanks for the last line of your comment! Actually,she was so engrossed in her thoughts, she failed to notice the vehicle approaching her.
    Will work on what you have suggested.
    Thanks Pawan!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, and made the corrections! :)

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    2. Thank you for making me feel like my comments matter. :P

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