Skip to main content

My treasure.

                 A decade ago, I quit my job  to stay at home, as my family needed me. It was the time, when I realised that my mom-in-law and my new pet dog, Chikoo, could not be left home, alone. After having worked for a long time, the sudden change shook me up a bit. It was also during those days, when the decision to not have a child had begun to sink in. It sure was a lethal combination, of me being 'unemployed', and thus, an idle mind, plus, people's  endless queries about us being issueless. Those were the days, when I was just not myself.
             During that time, I remember, how National Geographic would air the program, 'In the womb'. And, every time I would witness  the life of a pregnant woman and her unborn child, my unused maternal instincts would get a jolt, of guilt?  of sorrow? I know not. But, it sure had me depressed to quite an extent. The mind that used to be busy at school, now had quite a lot of free time on hand to go on it's trips of worthlessness. Add to that, my inability to express my feelings to my husband,  or my friends. What a mess I was!
           But, don't they say, that when God closes a door, He opens up another? Yes, something of the sort happened with me, too. I had no child to call my own, to shower  all my motherly love on, but, oh, how wrong I was! I realised how God had blessed me in ways I had failed to realise, up until then. My depressed state of mind assured I lay awake at nights, thinking, pitying my condition, which eventually led to an overflow of tears. And, it was then,when the world slept a peaceful sleep, I would lay awake, crying, as softly as I could. A couple of times it happened, I was all alone. But, when it happened a third time, I was not alone.
          Chikoo, being an alert little fellow, with an intelligence to match, was up and about! A bundle of nerves at seeing me in a disturbed state, he began licking my face, worry written large in his loving eyes. His wagging tail, his desperate whines, and pleadings with me to calm down and gather myself, left me overwhelmed! Instantly, I realised I was not alone anymore. I had a child, a son, who cared about me, who was there for me before anybody could even realise that I needed help.  I knew then, that any battle we faced, we would be in it together.
         In a matter of weeks, I was feeling better. I had replies to people's curious expressions. Yes, I had a son, and he was this little bundle of fur, who followed me everywhere I went; who caught hold of the end of my dress and pulled me around whenever he felt needy, or sleepy,who put back the laughter in my life, and wiped away the occasional tears before anyone even noticed!
         It has been  eleven years now, and our bond has grown stronger. I have forgotten those dark days of loneliness and worthlessness. Whenever I get asked if I ever miss having a child of my own, I smile a contented smile as I look at my son, Chikoo.
Every day, since I realised God's gift to me, has been memorable. And, every night, I thank God for opening up this huge door of love and happiness that I will treasure for the rest of my life.

Comments

  1. Shilpa.. thats so good that Chikoo helped you out of your loneliness. Dogs are indeed our closest friends.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wonderful...such memories are so precious..I have been reading a lot on #together theme this week and such wonderful , uplifting stories really

    ReplyDelete
  3. Happy that you realized that you were not alone, and let your love flow to him. <3

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You are The Man!

I admit, I am late in discussing this event, but did you watch the controversial 'Koffee with Karan' episode, two weeks ago? The one where the ubertalented Kangana Ranaut and Saif Ali Khan were Karan Johar's guests on his famous couch, sipping coffee along with him? Did you notice Kangana's confidence and her sassiness?   Do you remember her repartees, her jibes, her ripostes that were well-aimed at Mr. Johar? How fearlessly she spoke her mind without mincing words! And, she was in conversation with one of the Big Daddies of Bollywood.

I confess, I am an admirer of Ms. Ranaut, and I was blown away by her candour. The fact that she gave two hoots about diplomacy, and about the men in power in the hindi film industry,  shows how self-assured she is. She wasn't born into the industry, with a silver spoon; she entered the industry as an "outsider", who, despite being written off by the industry bigwigs, worked her way up the very competitive ladder, right to…

How I wish I could turn back the clock!

"Youth comes but once in a life time!"
               ___H.W.Longfellow.



             Traversing through  life, how often do we look back wistfully at our past and wish we could go back, wish we could live it all over again, just one more time?   Each time we witness the young around us enjoying life, enjoying their freedom and pursuing dreams with an enviable vigour, how we wish we could swap places! Sigh.

             A few days ago, I happened to have a chat with a 23 year old cousin. Excited about her future and the plans she had chalked out for herself, she had quite a lot to share with me. The sparkle in her eyes and the enthusiasm in her voice spoke a lot about how eager she was to embark upon the path she had chosen! Her enthusiasm was, indeed, contagious, for it left me yearning to turn the clock back and re-enter that age I left behind almost 2 decades ago.

          Were I to find Aladdin's lamp, I would ask the Genie to transport me back to the past I so wish…

The motherhood challenge.

A  few days ago, a dear friend of mine wrote a touching post disapproving the 'motherhood challenge' that has been going viral on Facebook. Motherhood challenge is all about women posting pictures with their children and tagging other women, who according to them, are 'awesome mothers'. But, my friend felt that by adding the words challenge and dare,  they were drawing a divide between themselves and others who weren't blessed enough.  I was touched by her views that defended women who might feel marginalised by such a challenge, although that might not be the motive behind it at all.
          Wonder how many women would feel the way my friend did! How many of the 'blessed ones' try and understand that behind such decisions might lie a reason, a helplessness that gives a woman endless pain? We haven't chosen to stay childless because of a lack of fondness for children. There were reasons and circumstances that stood in the way of us holdin…