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A few lessons I learnt from my dear zindagi.

  No, this post has nothing to do with the movie, 'Dear Zindagi', but something to do with our dear zindagi - our life. I read a post by my blogger friend, Shailaja,  and drew up a list of  lessons I  learnt along the way from my life, about life.

 Each one of us is on a journey that is far removed from the other's. So, naturally, the lessons we glean from our experiences are going to be different, too. Our life brings us face to face with some truths - most of them bitter - and helps us grow. Initially, we do grumble about these bitter facts as we do when swallowing bitter pills for our ailments, but, eventually we learn to live with and accept  these as part of life.

 Here are some of the  lessons I learnt over the years; lessons  I took time to digest, but have realised are the ones that will help me along the way.

*Learn to love yourself.

It's a fact we fail to realise that we are on this journey  by ourselves. Our families, our partners, our friends are our co-passengers, who will be with us, but not always.  So, learn to be independent - emotionally independent. It's tough, no doubt, especially so for sentimental souls (like yours truly!)  I have learnt this the hard way.
Each one has his own battles to fight. None will be your constant supporter. However much you yearn for someone to be by your side, at the end of the day it's a lonely journey. So, learn to enjoy your company. Like Kareena Kapoor, in the movie, 'Jab we met' - be your favourite!  You really won't need anybody by your side if you enjoy being by yourself.
Stifling as it can be, solitude is one bitter pill to swallow, but once you do that, you won't require any other medicine to help you feel better.

*Stand on your own feet. 
Strive to be financially independent. I quit my job years ago to look after my family, but over the years I realised that however much you toil for our family, your efforts will be blatantly disregarded. The job of a homemaker, as we know, is a thankless job. However, the moment you become financial independent, your importance  rises several notches. I am struggling to find means to support my self-respect, and I know I will find something soon, for sure. But, till then, my self-esteem won't let me rest in peace.
So, find your niche, work on your hobbies and try to find ways to  make those lucrative and then see for yourself the change in the world around you. I am doing it, and so can you!

*Make your health a priority.

We know not what the future holds for us, but we sure can take charge of our present, can't we? Get off that couch, stop making excuses and quit being lazy. Go for a walk/jog, enrol at a Yoga class or hit the gym, ditch the elevator, take the stairs. Pay attention to what you feed your stomach and your brain.  If you won't give your body the respect it deserves, your body won't bother caring about you!
Agreed that we know nothing about what could happen despite us taking good care of ourselves, but, we could at least try to save what we have!
Remember the proverb you learnt at school day in day out: "Health is wealth"?  Being fit changes your outlook towards life, improves the way you appear (to yourself and to the world) and improves your morale. So, take care of yourself. Please do.

*Gather the women in your life.

This one's for the women readers.  We women place our men on a pedestal and sacrifice a whole lot for their happiness, only to find them forsaking us over time. Accept it, girls. Our husbands, our boyfriends will never be at our beck and call like they used to in the initial days of our relationship. They will never understand our varied problems, never ever read our mind or hear us or follow our point of view (okay, some might!)  When age and its effects wreak havoc on our bodies, when our hormones turn us cranky, sentimental/emotional, the men will first find a way to get out of our way!
And, these are the times when only...only your women will be by your side, nodding their head in agreement to everything you say, lending you a shoulder to cry on and cursing the world along with you for all the injustice it has meted out to your lot.
The above words do sound contrasting to what I said earlier about being emotionally independent, but for those few  'low moments', it's only our women who will understand what we go through. So, get together for a group huddle and assure each other that you are there for them. Words women say to each other at such times make a huge difference, as opposed to what men say. Agree?


Umm...so there you go!
These are some of the lessons I learnt (there are many more, but writing about every one of those will  only lengthen my post no end!)  And, there are many more, which I will learn with time! We all do, for life is one never-ending tutorial, isn't it?

What have you learnt from your dear zindagi? Do share with me some of the enlightening information; maybe it will help me on my journey, someday! 
Hugs to you for making it this far! 

With Love,

SHILPA...

Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    2. Anonymous-
      Awesome shilpa... well written....90% of us are just trying to please others now who are these others no one knows....we can either please these so called others(which I feel is impossible) or please ourselves( 100% in our hands) I chose the latter.... people branded me selfish but it is necessary love yourself live life n have fun

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    3. It is definitely necessary for us to love ourselves - tough as it can be - but, in the long run that is what is going to help us, isn't it? :)
      Thank you for visiting! <3

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    2. Alana-
      My piece of wisdom - make sure your friends are of various ages. When you get older (I'm 63) this becomes of paramount importance. First, it keeps you young to have friends younger than you are. Second - well, you'll see when you're 63.

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    3. Shilpa Gupte-
      Wow! Alana, am I glad I met you here?!
      You are right, it is so necessary to have friends younger (for us to feel young) and older than us( for us to learn something from them always!). :)
      Thank you for the visit! <3

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    2. Rajlakshmi-
      I loved all your points because that;s what I have been trying to do most of my life. Unless we learn to love ourselves, how can be have expectation that others will do the same. And the last point is so spot on. My girl gang has always been such an awesome support system. I absolutely love them.

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    3. Shilpa Gupte-
      I know you agree with me, Raj,because I guess we all are sailing in the same boat, aren't we? :)
      And, three cheers to our girl gang! What would we ever do without them?

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    2. Maliny-
      The most important lesson I have learnt in my life is to take care of myself and not to let someone else tell me not to follow my passion.
      Loved reading your list. It brought smile to my face :)


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    3. Shilpa Gupte-
      True, Maliny. No one really has the right to dictate terms, and it's best that you make it clear to them. And, caring for yourself - now, none would do that better than YOU! :)
      Thank you so much for the visit!

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  6. I loved your points Shilpa. I'm almost there with most of them except No1 - loving yourself and being emotionally independent. That's the hardest one of all.

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    1. Yes, Tulika. Loving yourself and being emotionally independent are definitely the hardest ones, but also the most necessary ones. It's something we realise only when it is too late! <3

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  7. I have not yet seen the movie, but loved your pointers Shilpa. Especially the last one- collect as many women as you can, yes! as women we often forget that the world is too big and competing with one another in a small space brings hatred and not compassion.
    Menaka Bharathi has recently published http://simpleindianmom.in/paleo-diet-myths-truths-know/

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    1. So true, Menaka! And, it's us women, who can understand one another and try and lessen the burden of stress we carry all our lives!

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  8. agree with Tulika, Being emotionally independent is one the hardest things. I feel as humans we are a social animal, and need someone at various stages in life to give us that emotional support.

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    1. Oh yes, it is the hardest thing to do, but, from my personal experience I have learnt that it is the best thing to do.! :)

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  9. Hear hear! Your points are spot on! Something we must all keep in mind. In the end the only person who can help us get back up and move on is ourselves. We must trust ourselves for that. What others believe is right for us may not always be so. Yes, we must heed everyone's opinion but the final decision concerning us must always be made by ourselves.

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    1. You are so right, Darshana! Who better than us to know what's good for us!
      Thank you for the visit, dear! <3

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  10. 1. Go with the flow!
    2. Humour is a great tool
    3. Treasure your girl gang!! **

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    1. You said it, Manisha!
      Hugs, sweetie! <3

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  11. Wow what a tab article

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  12. Lovely learnings there, Shilpa. All of them I can relate to. Keep your women closer, I would say keep everyone who has your best interests at heart closer. :-)

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    1. True, Rachna. We need people who have our best interests at heart by our side!
      :) <3

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  13. Beautiful lessons!
    From Dear Zindagi, I learnt sometimes things don't turn out as we want them to. So, instead of cribbing about it we should accept it as God's way of taking us to our destiny.

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