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Behind closed doors.


  I have been on a reading spree, of late; just finished reading my second book from among the trio I bought last Sunday -  'I let you go', by Clare Mackintosh. A psychological thriller, it was the kind of unputdownable books I prefer to read. I finished it in about two days; it could have taken me even less time had there not been any other work needing my attention!

   The book begins with a hit and run case, but gradually emerges to be the tragic story of the heroine fleeing her miserable life as a victim of domestic violence. The writing is bold, in that  the scenes depicting the violence inflicted by the husband are graphic. It does need a lot of strength and willpower to  read about the acts of violence endured by the poor woman at the hands of her beastly  husband. I shuddered as I read those scenes. The kind of psychological control men can have over their women is ghastly, terrifying. One only needs to imagine with a sense of horror the kind of physical abuse the women must be experiencing.

  There are a countless women in our midst who are victims of domestic violence. Not many among those will ever  speak about it in their entire lives. Dying a hundred deaths everyday, they put up a smile to ensure their appalling  truths never get exposed for fear of incurring the wrath of their demonic husbands. Concealing their wounds - both, physical and psychological - they go about their lives, mechanically,  putting up a charade of normalcy for their families who dote upon them. Living in a perpetual state of fear of their husbands - the evil incarnates - they live  a life of servitude.

  It's human nature to pass judgements on people we come across in our day to day lives without pausing to reflect upon the lives they must lead.  That woman from our apartment complex who hardly mingles with others; the colleague who appears perennially terrified;  the friend who gives excuses galore for not attending our parties - do we ever wonder what the reason behind their behaviour might be? All we do is label them 'reserved', 'cold', 'snooty', even, without pondering over the kind of lives they must lead behind closed doors.

  There are organisations that help such victims, but rarely do the victims have the resources or the courage to file a complaint against their abusers. They not only fear the repercussions of their actions, but also find it difficult to trust the law. They know it's a man's world out there, akin to the one within the four walls of their homes. It's hell they pay for speaking one word against their men; they can very well imagine the outcome of filing a formal complaint against their tormentors.

  My heart goes out to these women, for the atrocities they face all their lives.  And, yet, I feel helpless, for nothing I say, or, nothing we say, will ever give them the motivation, the strength to step out of the hell they live in. Bogged down by worries about where do they go?/ how do they support themselves?/ will their parents stand by their side?  they suffer in silence.  And, even if they do muster the strength to move out of the hell hole, they have that nagging fear - will the men they leave behind ever allow them to live in peace? They never know what kind of revenge would await them!


 If any of you are acquainted with such  a victim of domestic violence, do extend your hand for support. It will take a lot of energy to fight for their cause, but it will be a fight worth it. Freedom, as we say, is our birthright, therefore, no one, not a single soul has any right to take it away from us. It's we women who ought to stand by each other, for it could have been our close ones suffering what those others are going through!
 Do think over it.


Love,


SHILPA...

  

Comments

  1. Domestic violence is such a scary issue. I cannot imagine women going through it day in and day out. It needs to be spoken about. And quite a lot at that.

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    1. Yes, Soumya. It does need to get spoken about. I only wish the women could muster enough strength to talk about it aloud.

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  2. The book sounds interesting and a relevant one in the present times. It is good of you to provide that footnote. Women should stand together no matter what.

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    1. It is a good book, Maliny, and it left me shaken as I read about the plight of the woman in the story.

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  3. It is always the woman who is pointed at - and always on the wrong side. well the book does seem very interesting Shilpa! present time reporting, will make sure to read it.
    Menaka Bharathi has recently published http://www.simpleindianmom.in/planned-vs-emergency-c-section/

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    1. Yes, Menaka. Do read it. And, yes, it's always the woman at the receiving end of it all! Sigh.

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  4. Am currently working with one such person and it's so hard to get her to act for her own safety.

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    1. Oh, I hope she gets the encouragement, and more so the courage, to fight for her safety.

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  5. I know at least two women, possibly more. I first knew them after they escaped their situations. One literally had to live in her car for a brief time, and took nothing from her marriage but her clothes. It can happen to any of us. Don't think that it can't.

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    Replies
    1. That sounds terrifying, but I am glad she escaped.
      Yes, you are right, so right - it can happen to any of us.
      Thank you for visiting!

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  6. Domestic violence is scary! And I can only imagine the plight of women who becomes the victim.
    Interesting story, though, I would love to read it sometime.

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    1. It is something so terrifying, Shalini. Actually, we can't even imagine what they must go through! :(

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  7. Oh, this resonates with me personally --- as you know, my friend... It can not be said enough times... we should always listen, See, be there, help our sisters who suffers... and more than anything: dare to ask: Are you OK?, and not taking Yes, for an answer... Sisterhoos forever and ever.. Very well written post dear Shilpa- sending big hugs and lots of love. XXX

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    1. I know, Eli. I have a fair idea what you have been through. But, I am so happy for you that you escaped it all and are today in a happy space. And, you are so right - we ought to be there for our sisters, with them through the tough times. WHo else do they have to depend on?
      Love and hugs to you, too, my dear! <3

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  8. Domestic violence is one of the biggest criminal activity which goes unreported for years and no one believes it exists. Well written Shilpa.

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    1. Sadly, so true, Lata. :(
      Thank you for your love, dear!

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  9. I do know of one such person and I think it's the cruelest thing to happen. It takes away the one place a woman, or anyone for that matter, should feel safe. Very thought provoking Shilpa.

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    1. Isn't it a sad life she must lead, Tulika? I hope she is able to get away as soon as possible and lead a peaceful and a happier life!

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  10. DV is so very common and how sad it is that some of them are abused all their lives due to their situations, emotional and psychological make-up and fear of social isolation.
    Have added I Let You Go in my TBR list. Thanks for sharing about it!

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    1. A sad story of many a woman, Shilpa. I just wish they gather the courage to speak up about it and leave the hell they live in!

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  11. It's all around us. The seemingly normal relationships have ugly truths hidden under them. And, it's more common than we would like to believe.

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    1. So true, Vinodini. We just have to scratch the surface a bit and we get to see what lies beneath!

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  12. If this book is unputdownable... I have to pick it up.... On domestic violence,yes it's sad indeed. And I always consider mental abuse as Bing a part of domestic violence. Women across society suffer in silence, being constantly nagged and harassed verbally too... It's time they spoke up and walked out of it.

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    1. Mental and emotional abuse also form a part of domestic abuse that so many go through, and for no fault of theirs! Sad, indeed. I wish they spoke up sooner and found a release from the hell holes they live in.

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  13. I think you will enjoy reading Picture Perfect by Jodi Picoult. It's the similar plot line, and unputdownable. It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover begins with a romance story, and turns into story of ugly domestic violence in the near end.

    My prayers reach out to the victims of these violences, and hope that they find the strength and support they need soon enough.


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