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Que sera sera...

How many times in your life have you wished you were Aladdin? The guy who would just rub the magic lamp and poof...out would appear a genie, who would fulfil every wish, every command you uttered? A hundred times, isn't it? Especially, when there was that something that you felt had the potential to change your life, turn your world upside down, and yet, was just not within your reach. When all the hard work you put in bore no fruits, leaving you frustrated and desperate, and yet, you didn't have the heart to let go of that one thing you knew was meant just for you. Am I right?

I have wanted to be Aladdin for quite a long time, now. Despite knowing that there are somethings far out of reach, are not destined to be mine,  the countless human frailties render me desperate, driving me to seek precisely what I should ideally leave alone. The greed, the feeling that certain things are a necessity for my growth is what drives me insane when I fail to achieve the object of my desire.

My mother says, that things will happen if and when they are meant to. That, if something is destined to happen in your life, then it most  definitely will.  Be it a particular occupation you are keen on getting hired for, meeting the person you want to spend your life with, or even something trivial, like winning a race at your school,Sports day.  She has always been cool as a cucumber, that woman. Don't even ask me how she does it. Also, please don't ask me how come I haven't inherited those cool genes of hers, because I know not. I wonder why I didn't!

Anyway, over the years, after having wasted a whole lot of stamina fretting over all the things that I couldn't achieve, all the wishes I couldn't fulfil,  I have realised that what mother says is one of the Ten Commandments one needs to follow. For, it's  Madame Destiny who decides what's good for you, what's meant for you and when it's meant to take place. Period.

There are people who don't believe in destiny; people,  who believe in writing their own destinies. My good sense tells me to leave the people be. It's for mere mortals like yours truly for whom this post I write. Have you ever experienced how you wanted something very desperately?  Like say, that job interview you had been preparing for in all earnestness? You prayed for the coveted position; in fact, you were almost certain it was yours, and yet, when the outcome of the interview was declared, you learnt you hadn't made it. Despite everything - your hard work, your prayers - you didn't make it.

Do you remember your state of mind then? For a period of at least a week or so, you were morose, dejected and hating the universe for what it had done to you. Let me tell you, I, too, have been through a similar state countless times. But, I came out of it. We all did. And, do you know why? Because, firstly, we resigned ourselves to the fact that it was not meant to be, and secondly, we realised that the vast universe has a countless opportunities in store for us, waiting to be toiled for, waiting to change our lives. And so, all we did was try one of those countless opportunities. So what if we were a tad bit late, behind the rest of the others?  We did make it, didn't we?

Since the past three days, I had been waiting for a mail that would tell me if I had succeeded at something I had been working at. I bit my nails restlessly and prayed for divine intervention.   And, this morning, when I couldn't take the torture anymore, I just said to myself, that if the damn thing had to work out, it very well WOULD! Else,  I will simply try for something else. That's it. Frankly, it means a lot to me - I am a homemaker, and haven't been "bringing to the table" a single paisa since I quit my job to look after my family. And, yet, I just let it go - that yearning for things to happen, to brighten up my life - I just let it all go. I decided to wait and watch.

What was the worse that could happen, anyway? Nothing! My universe, I realised, has always been kind to me, caring and loving. It would never let me down, is what I knew. I did have my doubts, though. I always do. Still, I decided that the feeling of shame at not being an achiever, of being a loser will subside with time, till the next opportunity that will come knocking at my door one fine day. At least I will learn to be stronger. Which I so need to, by the way! And, if the feeling persists, mom is there to rescue me from this abyss and drill some sense into my head.

And, even as I was entertaining some good and some horrid thoughts, the mail arrived, putting my fears to rest! My joy knew no bounds! I thanked my universe profusely and ( imaginarily) boxed my ears. It's been some time since I realised that my universe takes time to work up the miracle I have wanted; that it always tests my patience, my strength, in order to make me stronger, and in spite of this knowledge, I let myself go!?  Stupid,  moi?

Well, I have promised to be patient-er,  henceforth, for I know everything will come in good time. For, what's meant to be mine, will be, and what I am meant to achieve, I will! No two ways about it! And, whatever will be...will be! I ought to enjoy the journey, isn't it? And, have faith. And, patience...oodles of patience!

How good are you are waiting for what you really want? Do you drive yourself nuts when things take a long time to happen? Or, are you the blessed one, like my mom, who knows that if it's meant to be, it will? That whatever will be, will be? Do share with me...I would love to know!

Love,

SHILPA...







Comments

  1. I was an amazing expirience reading this; been there. I've failed many more times then what I've succeeded but the joy of success can be truly enjoyed after you know the sorrow of losing. We all go through it, I guess that's what life is all about.
    I don't know what mail you got,but I am sure it must be a great achievement,congrats. You really poured your heart out with this one, felt it ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

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    1. You said it, Ankita! "The joy of success can be truly felt after you know the sorrow of losing!"
      How true! Life's little lessons!
      Thank you so much, Ankita! <3

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  2. Words of wisdom there Shilpa. I am a mix of both. There are days I go with the flow feeling good with what I have, satisfied with the little work I have and the love of the kids and days when I feel so restless so dissatisfied that the wish to change everything with a pouf becomes almost unbearable. But then there is no magic lamp so I grin and bear it and wait for the peace to descend again.

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    Replies
    1. My life's story, Tulika! I too keep vacillating between the two emotions as per my varied moods, but then good sense brings me back to earth and I feel grateful for all I have and promise to wait for things to happen when they are meant to! :)

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  3. Your mom and my Dad are from the same school of thought. He too tells me the same thing when I get all worked up about something - Jo hona hai so hoke rahega, kiyu fikar karte ho. I wish I had his relaxed attitude :D Glad you got your mail. Things like that happen to me and it kinda makes me not so cynical about Destiny :)

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    1. Me, too, Raj! I do try to follow this line of thought, but it's not always that I succeed. We need to keep reminding ourselves about Lady Destiny and her ways, no? :P

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  4. Que Sera Sera has been my thing since I was a little girl. Even today too, I have a T-Shirt that says so. Those three words are pretty high on the list if I ever get inked. But that doesn't mean that I am always patient. My impatience shapes into nervousness sometimes. I think we all go through the phases and our behavior changes per situation. Loved reading, Shilpa. I hope you find some peace :)

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    1. Yes, Parul, we all go through these phases. But, I am sure we will cease feeling so as time passes and teaches us the virtue of patience and gratitude!
      Thank you, dear!

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  5. It is nerve wracking to wait for some news. It is even more difficult when it does not go to plan. I am a believer in destiny because I've seen things just fall apart for no reason and sometimes come together when we least expect them. I think I have become much less patient with age. I just don't want to wait. :-)

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    1. Hehehe....who wants to wait, Rachna? But, there's nothing we can do except wait and have faith in destiny! :)

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  6. Ah! Been there; nerves do start to kick in when you have put so much effort in that one thing and you await results for it. But I am a huge believer in the Universe and that things will happen in its own time. If something doesn't work, I keep reminding myself that.
    Glad you got the mail you were waiting for. All the best!

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    1. Things do happen in their own time and in their own way, Aditi! There's nothing we can do to set the wheels in motion. Having said that, there are times, trying times, when our patience forsakes us and leaves us feeling miserable!

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  7. Now glad it worked out well for you. I have had many such instances where i have had to wait.. biting my maid in anticipation. Sometimes it has been good.. and at times it has been bad . But after days of disappointment i realise that it didnt like the universe has come crashing down... Things moved on...

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    1. Yes, Ramya. Things do happen in when they are destined to, and we realise how our Universe didn't come crashing down despite all the time lost! :)

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  8. Such a wonderful read! Patience is what many of us still are learning and yearning to have! :)

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  9. It was very useful for me. Keep sharing such ideas in the future as well. This was actually what I was looking for, and I am glad to came here! Thanks for sharing the such information with us.

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