Skip to main content

Hyenas.

I worked at an educational institution for 8 years. It was a haven, where I was surrounded by 5,6 and 7 year olds, all day. I use the word 'haven' to describe my place of work because it made me feel safe; safe for the woman in me. I had to travel to reach school, but it was not much of an inconvenience because I knew that I was travelling to a place I felt as comfortable in as my own home.

I quit my job some time ago and since then  have been a homemaker, far, and safe, from the world out there, where wolves and hyenas roam free. I read about women having to face sexual harassment at their workplace and every time I read such news, I think back to my time at my workplace, which for me,  was like a warm cocoon. A place  where I could walk freely, without the fear of someone lurking around the corner, or in the restroom, waiting to pounce on me.

Few days ago, I came across this news article about a CEO of a company -  let's call him, Mr. Hyena. This Mr. Hyena was in the news after a woman employee accused him of sexual harassment. In his defence, he said,

   "I am a heterosexual single man and when I find a woman sexy, I tell her she is sexy. I compliment women. Is that wrong?" 


His words left me feeling disturbed. I could actually hear the creepy hyena laughter in those words!
Was he doing some sort of a service towards the women at his organisation? The women he works with are his colleagues, not his girlfriends, for heaven's sake! What was he trying to imply when the despicable man spouted those words, I wonder!  Is 'despicable' even the word that should be used to describe the scum? I am sure there will be a list of choice adjectives women would like to use for him and his ilk.

Women the world over face countless hurdles to reach the goals they set out for themselves. The career choices they make, the adjustments they are expected to make, the restrictions they face, all so that they can carve a niche for themselves in their chosen fields. They fulfil their duties towards their families and leave their homes to travel all the way to their workplaces,  all to get subjected to this? This physical and mental torture by their male colleagues, who look down upon their women colleagues/employees and consider it to be their prerogative; they even imagine it to be consensual!

Why, for a moment, do these men not consider the fact that these women have worked equally hard, if not harder, and made it on their own merit?  Why, for a moment, can such men not recognise the talent and the intelligence of their female counterparts and  just accept their female colleagues as human beings, who are equally, if not more,  hard-working and striving to make a name for themselves? 

Is it so difficult? 

A few days ago, I viewed a video circulating on Whatsapp on how a male superior would physically harass his secretary on an everyday basis.  One day, as the situation reaches boiling point, the woman confronts her superior.  She leaves aside all the subtlety that she may have possibly used in the past and strikes back with full force. She unmasks the man and shames him and his character in the presence  of the entire staff, much to his astonishment, and walks away with her head held high. The man, left red-faced, learns a lesson for life. 

 Men don't think twice before using sly innuendos or physical proximity to sexually harass their female colleagues. For them, it's akin to exercising their rights over women thanks to the patriarchal society we live in. Is it any wonder then that they rarely are dealt the punishment they so deserve?  Often times, the reasons such cases fail to get the attention they deserve are women and their fears vis-a-vis their jobs: their financial security  that comes from their jobs is important to them, and so is their assessment as workers at the end of the year. These factors render them helpless, hindering their efforts  at taking a proactive approach to deal with the harassment, and thus they stay mum. 

We women aren't some alien species dropping from the sky,  to be minutely observed under the microscope and groped and grabbed to get a feel. Ugh!  I feel disgusted even as I type these words!  But, alas, it can't be put across in a language less crass and revulsive, because the thoughts that float around in such men's minds are as crass and revulsive, if not worse.  

The harassment is not going to stop, despite it being spoken about so vociferously. But, there's a limit to how much a woman can tolerate. So, it's high time women learnt to use their voice in a way that these cases come to light and the culprits get duly punished. Women ought to speak up against whosoever it might be: the employer, their colleagues, their subordinates. They deserve that peace of mind. Sexual harassment can wreak havoc on a woman's  psyche, affecting her productivity, her way of life. Therefore, women in such situations deserve all the support they can get from their co-workers, their families and even the society.

I feel lucky to have worked at a place that allowed me to function in peace. Hoping for such peaceful environment in every workplace does sound utopian, but, why not? Why not hope for such a place where women can breathe easy as they work towards fulfilling their dreams and providing for their families? Isn't sexual harassment a crime, too? Then why can't we hope for it to get dealt with all the strictness it deserves? As members of the society, isn't it something we can expect for ourselves so we can live our life with dignity? 










Comments

  1. This is what happens when you don't have sexual harassment laws at work. Here you can get sued for stuff like that. Having said that, CEOs here too have tried to abuse their power and women get blamed in high profile cases.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What goes on inside the male brain, I wonder! Despite all the laws, if such things can take place there, you can imagine the bleak scenario over here, Sanch!

      Delete
  2. Shilpa, the creepy Mr Hyena's statement did disturb me too. Just imagine. In my first job, there was a creep. As a typical Mumbai girl just out of college, I used to be in skirts (in those days jeans not so popular). And I would avoid this guy at all costs. Me and another guy, we joined on the same day, fresh out of college. He noticed my discomfort. The next time, the creep told me, "New dress. Its very nice", my other colleague teased him so much saying, "hey, do you notice only girls' clothes. I wore a new shirt, you never complimented me.". That was the end of his advances. But it left a bad taste.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank god you had your friend to support you, Lata! And, what a superlative creep that creep must have been! Your friend had the perfect antidote to his jibes! Makes me sick, I tell you!

      Delete
  3. Today's work environment is full of these creepy instances. One just has to ignore and continue. But for how long?https://shilpaview-ideas2.blogspot.com/logout?d=https://www.blogger.com/logout-redirect.g?blogID%3D372500579991873800%26postID%3D4183488081466836561

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, Vinodini, for how long do women allow this kind of abuse? There have to be stringent laws at workplaces all over so that such pests learn to behave.

      Delete
  4. The sexual harassment laws here keep a lot of things in check and you can easily walk up to HR and complain. But what I don't understand is how a person at such a high level not understand the workplace etiquette. It's so disrespectful. There certain things you don't ask or say to a coworker. People need to understand that fine line. His justification is absolutely shocking.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Disrespectful, indeed! It must be such a painful situation for the women at such places!

      Delete
  5. Honestly, why do we have such creepy, predatory men? Notice, its always men! This kind of lecherous behaviour needs far more stringent punishment. Curbing harassment can also curb rape incidents, its like nipping these demons at the bud.It's not easy at any stage for women, is it? Great piece, Shilpa!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, Kala. Why do we women have to face such harassment everywhere we go? Be it at home, or outdoors, a peaceful environment is a rarity for many!
      Thank you my dear!

      Delete
  6. Shilpa, I can't agree more with everything that you've expressed here. It make my skin crawl to read what he said. Such entitlement, such a misuse of power. I am happy that more women are putting their foot down and bringing such incidents to light. I just wish it was easier for women at workplaces without these tensions hanging over their heads.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, Rachna. Why and how do such men feel entitled to use and abuse women around them? Is it their upbringing or is it how they are wired? But, stricter laws could bring them to their senses, hopefully. And, give women some much-needed peace.

      Delete
  7. Unfortunately, what u share is the TRUE & SAD state of the indian workplace (for sure). Did you know, if you speak up, then suddenly, you are missed out in promotion cycles coz u still need to 'work' on your 'skillset' & are not ready for that post - same excuse for poor ratings & non-existent increments. & u get isolated as other women don't want to be associated with a whistleblower. *Sigh*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How true you are, Ishieta! Women are scared of complaining primarily because it will reflect on their appraisals, on their image at their place of work. Only if they are assured of strict punishment for the perpetrators, will they come out in the open and speak boldly against such harassment.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You are The Man!

I admit, I am late in discussing this event, but did you watch the controversial 'Koffee with Karan' episode, two weeks ago? The one where the ubertalented Kangana Ranaut and Saif Ali Khan were Karan Johar's guests on his famous couch, sipping coffee along with him? Did you notice Kangana's confidence and her sassiness?   Do you remember her repartees, her jibes, her ripostes that were well-aimed at Mr. Johar? How fearlessly she spoke her mind without mincing words! And, she was in conversation with one of the Big Daddies of Bollywood.

I confess, I am an admirer of Ms. Ranaut, and I was blown away by her candour. The fact that she gave two hoots about diplomacy, and about the men in power in the hindi film industry,  shows how self-assured she is. She wasn't born into the industry, with a silver spoon; she entered the industry as an "outsider", who, despite being written off by the industry bigwigs, worked her way up the very competitive ladder, right to…

How I wish I could turn back the clock!

"Youth comes but once in a life time!"
               ___H.W.Longfellow.



             Traversing through  life, how often do we look back wistfully at our past and wish we could go back, wish we could live it all over again, just one more time?   Each time we witness the young around us enjoying life, enjoying their freedom and pursuing dreams with an enviable vigour, how we wish we could swap places! Sigh.

             A few days ago, I happened to have a chat with a 23 year old cousin. Excited about her future and the plans she had chalked out for herself, she had quite a lot to share with me. The sparkle in her eyes and the enthusiasm in her voice spoke a lot about how eager she was to embark upon the path she had chosen! Her enthusiasm was, indeed, contagious, for it left me yearning to turn the clock back and re-enter that age I left behind almost 2 decades ago.

          Were I to find Aladdin's lamp, I would ask the Genie to transport me back to the past I so wish…

The motherhood challenge.

A  few days ago, a dear friend of mine wrote a touching post disapproving the 'motherhood challenge' that has been going viral on Facebook. Motherhood challenge is all about women posting pictures with their children and tagging other women, who according to them, are 'awesome mothers'. But, my friend felt that by adding the words challenge and dare,  they were drawing a divide between themselves and others who weren't blessed enough.  I was touched by her views that defended women who might feel marginalised by such a challenge, although that might not be the motive behind it at all.
          Wonder how many women would feel the way my friend did! How many of the 'blessed ones' try and understand that behind such decisions might lie a reason, a helplessness that gives a woman endless pain? We haven't chosen to stay childless because of a lack of fondness for children. There were reasons and circumstances that stood in the way of us holdin…