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You are The Man!

I admit, I am late in discussing this event, but did you watch the controversial 'Koffee with Karan' episode, two weeks ago? The one where the ubertalented Kangana Ranaut and Saif Ali Khan were Karan Johar's guests on his famous couch, sipping coffee along with him? Did you notice Kangana's confidence and her sassiness?   Do you remember her repartees, her jibes, her ripostes that were well-aimed at Mr. Johar? How fearlessly she spoke her mind without mincing words! And, she was in conversation with one of the Big Daddies of Bollywood.

I confess, I am an admirer of Ms. Ranaut, and I was blown away by her candour. The fact that she gave two hoots about diplomacy, and about the men in power in the hindi film industry,  shows how self-assured she is. She wasn't born into the industry, with a silver spoon; she entered the industry as an "outsider", who, despite being written off by the industry bigwigs, worked her way up the very competitive ladder, right to the top, and proved to one and all what nerves she is made of!

And, as I watched her, awestruck at the strength she displayed, I wished I was cut from the same cloth. I wished I had the ability to hold my own when faced with dilemmas that rendered me helpless, and submit to the whims of fate. I wished I had it in me to care a damn about people and their judgemental ways, and live life as I please. I wished I had the guts to face life's tough times as bravely as she has and make myself proud of the way I handled things.

The thoughts dwelled on in my mind for quite a long time after the show ended. I did beat myself up for being a ninny and not building courage to face the upheavals in life. However, as this mental storm subsided and as the dark clouds of self-doubt and self-loathing cleared, I realised I hadn't been less of a fighter myself! Agreed, I am not like Kangana, or any other Superwoman out there, but then, neither are my battles like those of the others!  I may not have shown the conventional bravado we are used to seeing celebrated all around us, but, I did show presence of mind,  patience and tact when the situations asked for it.

I went for a walk down memory lane, reliving all the tough times I have been through and saw how well I had dealt with whatever destiny handed me. I felt proud of myself and gave myself a pat on my back for having made it through every storm I faced, without thinking of quitting, ever. I honoured  The Hero within me for all those times I know others in my place would have given up. I applauded myself and my graceful performance  and came back feeling good!

Today, as I write this post, I feel that every woman out there who has fought a hundred battles in her life is, indeed, a hero. If she were to recognise her mettle,  discover her forbearance and proudly show off the scars her wounds give her, she would realise what a hero she is! Our battles are different and so is our fighting technique. We fight the way we were built to, but, the bottom line is,  we fight.

We often associate heroism with masculinity, seldom realising that facing the battles of life also requires  gentleness and patience apart from determination and courage. It isn't easy making it out there despite the threats to your life right since the time you are in your mother's womb, or born a female in our male-dominated society. It isn't easy dreaming of reaching for the skies of the competitive world where we are considered the "weaker sex". Neither is it easy making it in life with all the expectations of society and the family foisted on us at every step of the way.

And, yet, we make it. We make it into this world, we make it past the hurdles strewn all along the way to fulfil our dreams; dreams of an education, a career and even dreams of bringing up a family singlehandedly. Caring for each and every soul in our life, we plough on to reach our goals, with minimum support and applause.

So, isn't it time we applauded ourselves? Isn't it time we doffed our hat to ourselves for all that we have achieved; for our bravery, for the wounds we carry so proudly, rarely giving the world a glimpse of these, and smiling despite the tears, and the fears?

I think we ought to. For if we don't, who would?

So, to all the women out there,  pat your back, hug yourself and take a bow...YOU MADE IT! Despite everything, you made it. You are braving all odds, facing a million hurdles, striving to live your dreams, despite everything. And, even as you do it all, you are taking your loved ones along with you, fulfilling every duty, every promise you are expected to, by your family, by the society, by the world.

Kudos to you, girl!

You are, truly, a hero.

Wishing all the beautiful women out there, a very happy Women's Day!




Attaching this note now, after reading a few comments of my blogger friends:

The title, 'You are The Man', is no attempt at trying to find ( and glorify) the Man within the Woman, but, it's just a play on words.

Contradictory as it may sound -  the title and the post - I don't have any intentions to prove that I am as strong and capable as a man. I am happy and proud with the woman in me who can deal with life and her weird ways much more competently than a man!





  1. Loved the message you shared, Shilpa. Each woman is a fighter because she fights odds, some greater some smaller. And though there are many who stand behind in support, it is just own strength that takes her forward. So pause and pat your back. I would just say that she is not the man but a graceful, courageous woman because I believe that women have more strength than men.
    Happy Women's Day, dear girl!

    1. You said it, girl! Women do have a lot more strength than men do! <3

  2. This made for a wonderful and inspiring read this Women's Day, Shilpa. We must pat ourselves on the back. Always. Only one minor correction I'd offer is that we are the WOMAN :) The Man couldn't do half these things as well as us, you see ;)

    1. True, Shy, a man couldn't do half as much as we do. The title was just a play on words...I like the ring of these words..'You are The Man!' :) <3
      Thank you, babe!

  3. What an inspiring thought for the day, Shilpa! I know exactly how you felt while writing this post and I can say for sure, there are many many women out there who would echo your thoughts. Kudos to us all for being who we are. I think we ought to celebrate ourselves throughout the year in this way! Thanks for sharing this wonderful post! HAPPY Women's Day to you too!

    1. Thank you, Esha! Three cheers to US! :)

  4. Happy Women's Day, Shilpa. Unusual perspective, but I'd rather celebrate differences between genders than attempt to find the 'man' in me. I'm all for both genders applauding themselves when they make the right choices and are determined no matter what.

    1. True that, Corinne. Both the genders have been blessed with strengths they use to live life. But, at times, we women need to pat our backs and brag a bit when none is doing that for us! :)

  5. I have sadly missed the one episode that I should have been glued to.
    Sass, a verve to live life on my own terms and giving a damn abt what peeps think - is how I am trying to live my life. I do feel proud of myself for having come so far.
    Kudos to your pen for reminding us to appreciate ourselves. 😊

    1. It feels good to see women proud of themselves, with the way they have conducted themselves and taken care of their lives to the best of their abilities. Kudos to you, too, Shalz! You made it! <3

  6. Happy women's day!! Yes we have all come so far and it has been an incredible journey. And now I have to watch that episode!!

    1. Oh yes, Manisha! It sure has been an incredible journey! I hope we build ourselves as impressively in the days to come!

  7. I love Koffee with Karan and never miss any episodes. Kangana was quite a firebrand in that particular show. My first reaction to her attitude was that of bewilderment as to why she was being rude. But I saw the show again to understand the context of her replies. She truly is an inspiration. Kudos to her and all of us women who are able to stand up for ourselves!

    1. We so ought to stand up for ourselves, Vinodini! Stand up for what we know is right, our right and what we have done right in our life!

  8. Well written, deserve a pat for more things than one...keep writing...

    1. You, too, deserve a pat for having lived life so well, Smruti! Thanks, love! <3

  9. I haven't watched the episode but have read about her brave comments and sassiness and we need that. We need outspoken women who won't be all demure and diplomatic all the time. Yes, we all fight different battles. Even when I look at famous women I too feel like I haven't done anything brave or courageous like them, but still I have made this far so I must have done something right πŸ˜€ I loved that line about how one also need gentleness and patience too, to fight the struggles. Loved this post ❤

  10. Amazing flow of words Shilpa! The lenght and depth of the words tell me how proud you are of yourself today and rightly so.

    We all are battling different challenges, challenging stereotypes, overcoming hurdles, breaking barriers with a lot at stake.

    And i am proud that we are displaying the courage to be what we wanna be.

    I would also wish that there is awareness created among less privileged women to come out and fight for what is hers.

  11. I watched the episode on hotstar. It was quite a shocker. I'm on Kangana fan but one has to admire her bravado. You're right that every woman is a hero know her own way.

  12. Very inspiring and uplifting piece, Shilpa! Women are heroes and we are tough and strong when we need to be to tackle life's challenges. Thanks for that boost on this Monday morning.


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